Quality Time
by audeamuscaedere
Summary: ”...I don’t need to know tricks on contracting Chlamydia.” Or at least, that’s what Kanda thought when that slightly drunken womaniser offered to teach him the tools of the trade. Mild Cross/Kanda. Implied LaviYuu.


**A/N:** Lol. This was a gift-fic for my friend, and after brutal days of thinking of a plot and writing the actual thing out, this is what came through. Please enjoy :D

**Disclaimer: **I do not own D. Gray-Man or anything it encompasses.

**Title:** Quality Time

**Summary:** "...I don't need to know tricks on contracting Chlamydia." Or at least, that's what Kanda thought when that slightly drunken womaniser offered to teach him the tools of the trade.

**Warnings: **Inappropriate touching, implied gay, blatant (gay) sexuality, alcohol use

* * *

A bar wasn't one of Kanda's smartest ideas. He had looked at other alternatives, like bowling, reading, or shopping. But he wasn't that mad enough to do _that_ shit. Tiedoll was being an asshat, and being around that man at work was enough for Kanda get out of that place as fast as he could, and thus leaving him with a lot of spare time.

He walked into the bar, settling on one of the stools, pointedly ignoring everyone around him. Even if he was in a bar full of people, he was going to drink _alone_. He ordered a beer, ignoring the offer of fancy cocktails, because there was no way in hell that he was going to be drinking something fruity like a Cosmopolitan.

The Japanese male leaned back against the edge of the bar, beer in his hand, watching the large crowd move on the dance floor. He frowned as he watched the bodies gyrating against the music. He felt a nudge on his arm and he turned to the source of the movement, glaring.

"Can I help you?" he grounded out, eyeing the red haired man with half a mask on his face, seated on the stool next to him.

"Yeah, kid. Move over," the man ordered, "I need a seat for my _friend_ here." He gestured to the busty blonde woman at his side.

Kanda snorted, "Fuck off. I was here first."

The man shrugged, turning to the woman, "Sorry, toots. I'll see you later." He winked at the woman, who slapped him in the face.

"Asshole," she muttered, walking away.

Kanda squinted at the exchange, observing the man carefully, "Do I know you from somewhere?"

The man looked at him intently, before a look of recognition appeared on his face, "Tiedoll's kid, aren't you?" He let out a laugh, "Crazy bastard."

Kanda glared, "I am in no way in hell related to that freak. Who the fuck are you?"

The man held out a hand, "Cross Marian. And I'd watch my tongue if I were you."

"Yeah. No. 'm Kanda," the Japanese male mumbled, not making eye contact.

_Marian_, he thought. Marian? Where had he heard that name before? It clicked. "You're the beansprout's old man aren't you?"

Cross narrowed his eyes, "The brat? I'm his _guardian_. How do you know..."

_Albert? Artemis? Andrew? _

He frowned, "Fuck, what's his name?"

Kanda shrugged, because he really _didn't_ know what the kid's name was, "No idea."

"So, you're the kid the brat keeps whining about, huh?" Cross muttered. He could find out the brat's name later. He looked down at Kanda, squinting. "You look like a girl."

Kanda glared, "Fuck you, old man."

"I'm just stating facts here, Rapunzel. You also might want to check up on your attitude too, cause your macho attitude ain't going to please the ladies." Cross let out a laugh, taking a swig of his beer.

"I don't give a shit about ladies. And shut the fuck up about my hair." The Japanese boy narrowed his eyes.

Cross snorted, "Ahh yes. You hang out with the kid, so you must be a queer too. My apologies."

"I'm not a fag."

"And I'm not judging. I'm just stating facts, Suzie." Cross slurred, lighting a cigarette, "I get the free love hippie shit." He looked pointedly at Kanda, "Just don't be trying none of your shit at me, okay? Cause I don't swing that way."

"Fuck. Dude, just shut the hell up. You're burning my ears." Kanda glared across the bar, "Shouldn't you be hitting up some women right now?"

Cross smiled, "I'm on break. Just had one, an hour ago. Gotta recharge." He winked.

The Japanese boy made a face, turning away, choosing to ignore the man by his side.

"Why are you here again?" the man persisted.

"None of your business," Kanda muttered, looking towards the dance floor, frowning at the song pounding from the PA's.

Cross pressed on, bored, "Guy trouble, huh? I can help you out, you know."

"I think I'll pass. I don't need to know tricks on contracting Chlamydia." Kanda snorted, lifting his drink to his lips.

"Oh _burn_. Kid, you seriously need some help with that attitude you got," the man tutted, taking another swig of his beer.

Kanda scoffed, "And you're going to be that person to help me? As if I'd want a burnout to teach me shit."

"My offer holds a lot of promise." Cross smirked, "I'm still in my prime."

Kanda glared, briefly contemplating how to respond. What did he have to lose? He wasn't about to go back to his dorms, let alone _work_. Besides if this Cross guy was crazy enough to get the beansprout mad, then he couldn't be that bad.

He shrugged, "Fine. Show me the way, old man."

"Damn right." Cross sculled the last of his beer, slamming the glass on the tabletop. The man grunted, "Let's go."

Kanda smirked, following suit, "Don't break a hip."

--

"We're at a strip club." Kanda stated, staring at the bright neon sign.

Cross chuckled, walking passed, towards the entrance, "No. It's a club of refined dancing that specifies in the removal of clothing."

Kanda snorted, "A strip club."

"Just go inside."

The pair walked into the club, the coloured lights rolling all over the room. Dancers lined the main stages, while others moved around the club tables, waiting on the various patrons seated on the lounges. Kanda frowned as a scantily clad blonde woman immediately clung to his arm, leaning close, batting her lashes.

"Well, hello there Mister," She murmured, her lips close to his ear.

Kanda glared at the contact, pushing the blonde away, "Do you mind?"

"Your loss." The woman pursed her lips, stepping away in a huff.

Cross shook his head, tutting. "Kid, that's not how you treat them."

"She was _touching_ me," Kanda replied, frowning at his tainted bicep.

The older man rolled his eyes, "Sit down." He pointed to a nearby couch. "Now, let me explain to you the art of women." Cross exhaled a breath of his cigarette, "You gotta listen to what they say, and let'm think you care. Tell them what they wanna hear. Be a gentleman for fuck's sake." The man huffed, "I'm getting drinks. Try not to offend anymore women."

Kanda snorted, opting to glance around the club. The PA was pounding out some god awful music, and he was getting a headache.

He eyed Cross at the bar, who was currently distracted by the blonde woman Kanda had rudely dismissed earlier. The Japanese male felt a tap on his shoulder; he swivelled around, coming to face a dark skinned male, dressed in a white dress shirt and obscenely tight leather pants.

Kanda narrowed his eyes, "Can I help you?"

"No, but I can help _you_," the man purred, sliding onto the couch so he was pressed against the other male.

The Japanese male frowned at the contact, "Who the fuck are you?"

"Tyki Mikk at your service." The man smiled, placing his hand on Kanda's thigh. "You look a little tense. Why don't I help you relieve it?"

"How about you back the fuck away from me?" The long-haired male growled, shoving the roaming hand away from his thigh. "Touch me again, and I'll fuck you up."

"Really?" Tyki tilted his head, interested. "So, what _else_ would you like to do to me?"

The hand returned, this time taking a firm grip on Kanda's crotch.

"Oh fuck no."

--

"You got us kicked out of the club, genius," Cross lamented, as the pair walked back to their cars. "I was only getting started."

"Your hand was down her shirt," the other male pointed out, following Cross to the parking lot.

The older man took a sip from his beer, "Not even close to best part. What the hell did you do?"

Kanda sniffed, "Some Mexican was trying to get his hand into my pants. The fucker."

"He was _Portuguese_. That guy is talented," the red haired man said thoughtfully. "You decked him in the face didn't you?"

"He had it coming." Kanda smirked. He glanced at the drunken man fumbling with his car keys, "Should you be driving?"

The man squinted, "Why? Do you need a ride?"

"Hell no."

--

The next night, Kanda's phone started ringing, causing him to shift in his sleep. He frowned, eyeing his bedside clock. It was three in the damn morning, who the hell was calling him? He reached over to his bedside table, fumbling around for his phone.

"Fuck dammit," he muttered, knocking over the pile of books on his table. His hand finally clutched his phone, raising it to his ear, "What?"

"Get outside, kid."

"How the fuck did you get my number?"

"Tiedoll. Five minutes."

Kanda threw on some jeans and a shirt, locking his apartment before making his way down. He frowned seeing Cross leaning against his car, a cigarette in hand.

"What are you doing here?" The black-haired male yawned. "It's three in the fucking morning."

"We're going for a drink."

"I repeat. Three in the fucking morning. Wait til there's at least light out before you go and get wasted." The Japanese male let out snort.

Cross had a last puff of his cigarette before putting in out under his shoe, "Last drink til I'm off to India." He smirked, "For memories sake."

"I'm driving."

"I'm giving you some rules til I get back." Cross looked over Kanda, who narrowed his eyes questioningly.

They were at the bar. It was 3:30am, and it was almost empty. The pair sat in the booth at the back, a collection of empty beer bottles already covering the tabletop.

Kanda scowled, "You're not my father."

"Neither is Tiedoll and look at the shit he keeps you under." Cross smirked.

"Fuck off," Kanda snorted, before taking a sip of his beer, "Go on then."

Cross tilted his drink, "It's been two days, kid. You must've learnt something by now."

"Don't punch Mexicans in the face, because they have a hell of lot of cousins?" Kanda raised a brow, smirking.

Cross frowned, lighting a cigarette, "No, dumbass. I want you to get a damn girlfriend, boyfriend or whatever. This is my teaching to you."

Kanda scoffed, "All we've done is drink and get kicked out of a strip club. You haven't been teaching me shit."

"I care about your welfare, kid." The man gave a friendly shove.

Kanda's eye twitched, "Are you hitting on me?"

"Fuck no. I'd only hit _that_ if I was drunk," Cross said, pointedly scanning the other's body.

Kanda frowned in disgust, moving towards the opposite side, "You're drunk now."

"Pfft. This isn't drunk, boy. Don't get your hopes up." The elder man yawned, "Anyway, by the time I call you better have made some progress." He stood up, stretching. "_Christ_."

He looked back at Kanda, giving a wink, "Take care of the bill would ya?"

The man walked out of the door, his cigarette smoke trailing behind him. Kanda shook his head, taking a look at the bill.

"Fucker."

--

Kanda rubbed his temple in annoyance, the phone receiver in his other hand. He had spent the past week in peace without Cross' _guidance_, and now the old man was on the other end of the line.

"What?" Kanda scowled, not wanting to talk to the man.

Cross coughed, "No 'hello'? _Manners_, kid. We went through this."

"And I said 'fuck off'. What do you want?" Kanda muttered, staring at the large hole in his wall.

"I'm not calling to make fun of you, kid. I just want to catch up."

"Just say what you wanna say, old man."

"I've been hearing things, kid. But not to say I wasn't too surprised."

Kanda raised a brow, "Like?"

"A Bookman."

The Japanese male frowned, not sure where the conversation was heading, "What are you talking about?"

"Your new _friend_. You know, what's-his-name, _Lavi_." Cross' smug voice floated across the line. "I'm proud you're taking my advice, kid. I didn't think you would."

Kanda scowled, "The hell I am. That idiot stalks me."

"Looks like Kanda's got himself a _boyfriend_," Cross chided.

"I'm hanging up now."

Cross let out a laugh, "Red heads, kid. You can't resist them."

* * *

**  
A/N: **Writing this ended up being a lot more fun that I thought it would, cause I don't really know Cross that well, but it turned out pretty well :D

Reviews would be a dream…


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